Daily Archives: July 19, 2010

The Burden of Resentment

I was talking to someone today and they said resentment was a burden, like sorrow, or loneliness. That thought rolled around in my mind all day. That and that quote in Galatians that says: “Bear ye one another’s burdens . . .”

It made me think of  Trouper, our little gray horse, that I have been calling Grumpy lately. He has been in my string (the horses only I ride) but I wasn’t enjoying riding him cause he always seemed, well  . . . grumpy. So my cowboy took him back into his string and the horse seemed to like that better.

But the other day I had to ride him again to check the cows across from the house. The cattle were split into 2 big bunches, one at the north west corner and one at the south east corner of this 8 section field across from the house. We headed north first. The bugs were horrible and Trouper was not happy about it. I told him, “Once we get to the cows the bugs won’t be so bad. Let’s hurry,” and he did.

We looked through the cattle and all was good. Trouper was in a hurry to get back to the house and I let him hurry back. The bugs weren’t as bad and I was happy and started singing Christmas carols (the only songs I know). He looked back at me a time or two and it seemed like he kind of liked my singing (even though I was out of tune, as usual).

He cheered up until we passed the gate to the house. He stalled as I pushed him to go by, trying to tell me I was missing it. I told him, “No, buddy, we have to check all the cows, these ones in the south too.” He went, not happily, resentfully, I would say. The bugs were horrible again. I finally got off and killed a bunch of deer flies on his face and a horsefly or two. He liked that and went on more willingly. Around the cattle, of course, the bugs were better again.

I dreaded the ride back to the gate. He broke into a trot as the biters closed in, then a lope but we couldn’t outrun or out distance them so I got off again and killed all that were on him. I walked a few steps turned around and his face and chest were covered again with these hard biting horrible dear flies. I killed, walked, killed and walked for 1/4 to 1/2 mile till they seemed mostly gone.

Trouper was very appreciative and tried to be so good the rest of the way home. His resentfulness seems like it has evaporated and I started calling him Touper again (instead of Grumpy). I think he just needed to know I cared about him and wanted to help him.

It made me think of people who are bitter or resentful. We don’t usually like being around them, avoid them, even grumble about them but maybe what we really need to do is be cheerful (I wouldn’t recommend singing out of tune like I do) and walk with them and kill the flies on their face. Well, you know what I mean. Maybe they just need someone to care about them and try and help them. I think I’m going to try that.