Why?

I guess I’m still processing the fact that the Charolais bull that hunted me and was running when he hit me didn’t kill me or after I saw him attack my cowboy that he isn’t dead either.

When I reached out and put my hands on that huge head just before he hit me full on in the chest I was thinking a statistic I heard, only one in 6 people survive a bull attack. I closed my eyes and thought, this is it. But somehow it wasn’t.

I got up and as I ran to the fence I saw that he had turned around and was running towards the man I love  most in the whole world. I saw him go flying along with his sunglasses, hat, and one boot. Then that same big head pushed into his body and rubbed him around as he lay on his back on the ground.

I yelled and waved and that big head came up but this time I was close enough to the fence when he came at me again. I clambered up but not so high that he couldn’t have hit my leg and maybe knocked me off my precarious perch. He seemed a little confused when he got to me and didn’t. My cowboy rolled under the fence out of harms way.

I’m getting to the age when death actually holds some appeal. I’ve raised my kids to be self-sufficient, got to do what I wanted to my whole life (be a real cowgirl), had good horses and good dogs that I think might even be waiting for me on the other side along with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles I loved, and maybe even some relatives I never met but would really like. I’ve got lots of room for improvement but I’m not afraid to meet my Maker (in fact, I’m looking forward to that).

So . . . why? Obviously there’s a reason; I just don’t know what it is.

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6 responses to “Why?

  1. Oh boy, I can't fathom. This will probably haunt you for the rest of your life and something I will petition God to help you forget.You are here for many reasons, mostly because it is exactly where God wants you to be. Blessings to you, friend!

  2. Everyone above gave you great words. I ditto their responses. It's not your time and you have much more life to live.

  3. Sorry, anyone who takes those cloud pictures is not on her way out.

  4. I think it is as Shirley says , your work here is not done. You have much to share and teach. Even the wreck with the bull serves as an education to all that even the most seasoned and wise of cattle handlers can be caught unaware and injured.

  5. That is a horrific story. I understand what you are saying in your last paragraph, sometimes when I look at all the wrong turns this world is taking I long for heaven, and don't fear death. I have done the best I can and strive every day to do better; I hope I am ready when He calls me. Your work here isn't done, my friend; you'll know in time. I've always said the mills of God grind slow and exceeding small.

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