Monthly Archives: October 2017

Dr Shark

My oncologist has now become the stuff of nightmares. Quite the startle response when I saw him coming at me that fast, in my sleep. 

I really need to change doctors. 

My Memories of Mason

I haven’t got to spend a lot of time with my grandchildren for whatever reasons. Except for one grandson, Mason, with whom I have shared some small but very precious-to-me-moments. 

He has been on walks with old Blue and Pokje and I out on the prairie which mostly consisted of mason trying to keep up with Pojke,  me trying to keep up with Mason, and Blue just doing his own thing. He let me tell him about grass and he loved the fact that he could eat the seeds of grasses, depending on the time of year. He likes to eat, like most boys. 

I think possibly I may have been the first one to give him driving lessons, in fact a couple of times. I think he was only five but in the middle of the prairie there is nothing to run into. He steered, I ran the gas pedal. 

And there was a 6 hour stint of “Power Rangers” when I looked after him once when his mom was gone. 
Riding bikes around in the community hall parking lot. And playing on the equipment behind the hall with he and his brothers and a couple of friends. Fun times. I would watch for them to come down the road towards our basement suite when they came. and then watch till they turned the corner riding their bikes home. 

He was a costume kind of kid and I have tons of pictures of him dressed as the superhero I know is in there some where. 

I had the loveliest day with him just a few days ago. Picture a beautiful fall day. Around where I live we call those special kinds of days Indian Summer. Crisp but not cold. Sunshine everywhere: filling the sky in the trees overhead, laying crisp on the ground in the shape of  familiar leaves. A day of possibilities when anything wonderful could happen and often does. Even Christmas hangs invisible in the air, in the back of our contented minds. 

Being an active boy I thought, well no, I pretty knew, that he would have fun on my little push scooter. I bought it a while back to use with my Cowboy when he walked the dog because I couldn’t quite keep up. With it, I could just push and glide along beside them. 

I made him wear my bike helmet and sent him on a short training mission with his Grandfather and Pshaw. After that I just laid out on the futon under the covered porch and watched him ride back and forth in the condo’s parking area. Every time he got close to me he’d stop and we’d have a short visit. I think its been a long time since I’ve been that deliciously happy.  

Thank you Mason. Grandma really appreciated all those fond memories I shared with you. 

An Opinion, an Apology

There was a thing going around on Facebook about a Clinton Anderson horse training video. He makes reference to tree hugger idiot not agree with his trading methods. In the video he was riding a paint horse named Titan who was at the time his NRHA futury prospect. I’ve been around Reining some and have seen this type of horse traing before.   I barely watched a minute of the video till I saw Clinton, abruptly snatch at the horse’s face, which was clearly a punishment for the horse hoping for freedom from what has always looked to me like a uncomfortable way to have to carry your head, some call collection. 

I maybe still have some opnions after all. Here was my comments (just in case you weren’t clear about where I stand on horse-man relationships. lol) 
“Well, never thought of myself as a tree hugger, idiot or not but I do have a lot of respect for horses. Not trying to puff myself but just to let you know that maybe I do have a leg to stand when I express my opinion I’d like to preface my comments with this. I’ve started a few young horses in my life and made my living on horseback for 15 years or so with a lot of 10 hour days in the saddle, rain or shine. I spent a few months working for a reining horse trainer, had the privilege of scribing for John Snoblen which was a great learning opportunity but I discovered quickly it wasn’t an industry that held much draw for me; I like to see a horse given some freedom to think for themselves and some of the movements they were requiring seems unnatural and forced. 
I personally, believe in partnership not punishment. It took me a long time to learn that one thing, one of my greatest regrets. For me, the master/slave relationship that the first snatch up on those reins portrayed, reminded me of how it used to be in the horse industry. A lot of atrocities were commited on horses in the name of training, which then was literally breaking a horse. That snatch was no where near the level I have witnessed but still you can see the mindset behind it. 
Ok, enough rambling on. I guess my point here is that I believe there’s a better way and my respect is saved for trainers whose main focus is: what’s best for the horse, so I’m kind on the side of folks who were a little offended. I like to think the best of folks and I hope it’s a perspective that, if Clinton can keep humble, he’ll eventually see himself.
A fellow replied. 

sometimes we have to do whatever it takes to get the message across, a good friend and successful horse had a saying that I thought summed it up “demand nothing more, accept nothing less”

From me again. 

“My point was kind of about learning it’s not a demand or accept type of thing. It’s really not all about only what we as horsemen want but about how we can teach ourselves and our horse to be on the the same page. I’ve learned there’s a way to take in the “voice” of the horse and consider his opinion about the whole thing. Just one little example: my husband was asked to put some time on an older Zan Par Bar bed stud that had been used just for breeding for many years. His owners were not comfortable riding him because of some of his history. My husband wouldn’t let me ride out with him when he used this horse having been forewarned. He came back one day really happy about a breakthrough he had with the horse. It was such a simple thing really. He’d asked the horse to cross some running water but the horse was not cooperative so he chose to ride him upstream to a spot that actually was a safer place to cross and asked again. He had to encourage (mind you nothing like demand but ask more than once) and when the horse realized the footing was safe he went through. The horse changed from that moment on and I witnessed a relation of trust between that man and that horse that isn’t very often seen and that I envied. That horse would have done anything that particular man asked of him. I have the privilege of being married to that man and feel the same way.”

I’d forgotten about the hero part of who I am married to and have, of late, just seen the flaws. I think because town puts everything in a darker light for me, cut off from all those things that have given me so much joy. It darkens my vision and life goes bleak. 

So, in tears this morning, I apologized to my cowboy even though he was sitting there in his cursed baseball hat playing on his iPhone. I’ve seen who he really is. The man that his horse, Buddy (and Buddy’s Dad, Big Doc), trusted and loved so much. 

So, there’s the last apology/forgiveness on my long (silly) list. Hopefully it’s enough to get me Home. 


Some things are better read out loud. I love the way this glides off my tongue.  

My Turn

My last picture with Pic, last day, last few moments. I didn’t understand until today how big a kindness it was that day. 

I wish it was as simple for people. Just one quick bullet from a kind hand. 

Then you get to run free across the heavens over the prairie.


Such a sweet little dog, it would have been hard to imagine the comfort she would bring.