Pain vs Sleep

Ok. For 5 weekends, in a row, I’ve been trying to work with Dr Shark and his “paliative care team” in Medicine Hat, where I live, to make satisfactory adjustments to my pain meds. Or, I should say, nothing gets done during the week so every weekend I’m trying to survive a pain crisis. And I’m here to tell you those sure aren’t pretty, involving lots of crying (even screaming) and begging. 

I’ve begun to hate weekends and actually my “paliative care team” as well. According to what I’ve been told they are the pain management experts and are the ones in charge of keeping you comfortable in your last days. That seems to solely involve sedating a person so heavily that all they do is sleep those final precious weeks maybe even months. 

Throw into that mix the restless brain of a person with ADD and it all turns into shear torture. My starved -for-input-brain just can’t handle being that sedated. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I just need to give up the idea that my “paliative care team” is going to help me at all. There is always more than one solution to a problem, if I can just be awake enough to find it. 

If it’s to be, it’s up to me. And when Karma raises her head I’m going to feel awfully sorry for those those involved in the Cancer Industry. So far I haven’t seen anything about it that seems sensible or compassionate. Maybe with the exception of some nurses who I don’t think have really thought about what is going on and their part in it, who are just kind by nature. 

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4 responses to “Pain vs Sleep

  1. I think its horrible that the winding down of your life on this earth can’t be spent how you want to spend it. I’ve had several friends with cancer and in their final days, they are reduced to what you are experiencing. They also wanted to cognitively function until their final day. Hospice is great at that, doping you up to “keep you comfortable” and you’re so out of it nothing matters. Basically shutting you up with meds and hope your demise is sooner or later, preferably sooner. Have you tried medical marijuana?
    It can be a great alternative to opiates. You are coherent, yet the pain will subside. Stuff can seem funny too, even though you’re aware of what’s going on. Try it, the worst it can do is not work. Sedating pain meds suck, they take what time you have left and rob your coherency. I hope you find something that works. God bless, Lisa

  2. Is the pain from the chemo or the cancer? Can you share what that pain feels like to you? With the opioid crisis many are cutting back on the pain meds given as they are highly addictive. That said if you are in a great deal of pain they should be giving you self controlled pain meds. I would question them if they are watering down your pain meds. Most cowboys have a high threshold of pain. If you are in that much pain something is not right. Tell them!

  3. I have no love for those involved in the cancer “industry” because that’s what it is. Once they can’t make money off you any more they don’t care. I hope you find a compassionate care team to help you.

  4. So sorry Cowgirl. Fire all of them and have a heart to heart talk with that doctor. If he doesn’t get it, get another doctor. God Bless!

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