Easter

http://faithtap.com/1199/dolly-parton-hes-alive/

Peter has always been my favorite apostle. No matter whatever else people say about Easter it is about the Saviour and the fact that he does indeed live. I know this, like I know I live.

Ups and Downs

I keep fighting for Up. But dang . . .

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Where did it all go so wrong?

Walking

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I’m trying to walk better. I noticed I have been walking with my foot turned sideways since it broke. So I put on these runners and tried to keep my foot straight while I took the dogs and one grandson for a walk on the prairie. The funny thing is, my cowboy boot feels a lot better on on my sore foot.

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Grass

When I stepped out of the truck onto the prairie today I was met by the delicious smell of grass growing.

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Just a tiny bit here and there but it is coming.

My foot’s still not good for going too far so I just layed down and enjoyed the beautiful warm weather and watched the dogs sniffing around.

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I swear I’ve aged ten years in this last year but the prairie still makes me happy.

Epiphanies

Today. What a day. Or rather what a moment in today.

I think every one gets those moments when the profound is whispered to our mind and we hear it.

Moses saw a bush that burned but wasn’t consumed by the fire. It was as a lowly shepherd that he was called out of his comfort zone to go and accomplish the impossible. He, of all men, well knew the might of pharaoh. He knew that he was lucky to have escaped Egypt, to to have the life of an ordinary man with wife and family, precious years as a shepherder, working in nature and with nature.

I so understand those years. I have lived a dozen of those kind of years. I am so grateful for that gift. It is a gift of strength. I have looked to people around me to be my strength, my love for my family, husband and children but I found it on the prairie.

I have embedded in my heart, my very soul, the embrace of my Mother, Earth herself, and take comfort in the knowledge that when I leave my body behind she will take it to her bosom and make something glorious of it.

I think Tolkien was inspired to show us, in his Lord of the Rings story, what a hero”s journey (like that of Moses) might be like, how hard, how such a small and insignificant person (us) can be the hero of our our own very personal journey. We see ourselves there, we intuitively know that the heroic is expected of us and feel inadequate (like Moses) to do all that is required.

Like Frodo, we need to find strength when our own is gone. His was in the Shire, mine is in the prairie. I’m sure those wilderness years strengthened the shepherd called to free the posterity of Israel. No matter where I am physically, the important, inside, part of me will always be on the prairie, I can always find strength in my memories of there.

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Hard

“When life gets to hard to stand, kneel.”

Just working on that. Ya, not doing that great. Pretty sick of having a broken foot. Sick of the mine. Sick of the cold. Sick of being broke. Image

Starting Over

In trying to adjust I decided to start over with a blog that reflects my “altered status”. Inside I’m still an old cowgirl and I guess in my heart I’m still a horseback out on the prairie but it’s no news that my life has changed . . . a lot. I’ ve spent a few months morning my losses, just part of a grief process I needed to go through some how. But I gotta move on.

So you all are welcome over to the new place, if anything about my life might still interest you. If you just want to remember how it was, that’s fine too. Beginning at 60

A really Nice Christmas

Totally broke for a couple of days till pay day with so many bills and expenses and a humble Christmas on top of it but it’s ok. It was still good up until the bronchitis. Lol.

I got to play the 12 days of Christmas for an older widow in the community, my grandsons and I. I’m kind of a baa humbug when it comes to Halloween but I do love Christmas. I tried to teach them that Halloween was about what you get and Christmas is about what you give and that giving is actually more fun.

Our middle daughter and her husband flew home. She has the biggest dimples and it’s hard to look at her and not smile. She’s a good auntie and one of my grandsons told me he couldn’t wait for her to come home because she was all about having fun.

She helped with the twelve days of Christmas deliveries, her husband came one night, and a couple of nights even my old dog Blue helped. So it was really a team (of angels) effort. The awesome cocoanut butter tarts my daughter made and gave one of the nights gave up the secret of who we were but that’s ok. We tried really hard to be anonymous.

Somehow my cowboy convinced the land lady to let me have Pojke, our deaf collie here in the apartment. Not sure how he did it. I’m a little afraid to ask in case it involved a little more money but I sure appreciate it. He and his dad, Blue, get along so well.

We’re still going for walks on the prairie once a day in spite of the cold. I always take a few minutes just to stand still, facing the sun with my eyes closed and breathe in the prairie, a little piece of heaven in every day.

2013 will soon be over. Thank Heavens! So I just wanted to wish us all a Happy New Year and pray our good Lord blesses you with your own little piece of heaven everyday in the coming year.

Hanging In There

I haven’t had the heart to look at my blog till today. It’s been a tough few months.Well, it’s been a tough whole year for me. I’ll be glad to see the tale-end of 2013.

We are living in a cramped basement apartment in a small town on my beloved prairie. It’s good to be home but I’m still struggling with the changes. Blue, my old dog is with us and Poyke my deaf dog is at our daughter’s (in the same little town) for now. It’s not really working out for him over there. Blue and I and Pojke go out everyday and walk on the prairie (Pojke runs and runs, Blue and I walk). It does us all good.

We have a really quite remarkable friend who has kindly taken the horses for us, maybe till spring, or they would be homeless. I haven’t seen Pic in months (we have only had the gas for my cowboy to get work) and I can’t help but worry about him. I haven’t heard lately how Gus and Pshaw are doing. It hurts a lot to think about them.

The last folks (Ron and Donna Davis of Nelson Creek Ranch) we worked for, illegally held up our cheque because we quit  and then shorted us a couple of days of pay besides. Horrible people, so glad to be out of that moldy mess. I do feel bad though, I’m sure they have done the same to folks before and will again. I have a few more resources than most of the poor cowboys they hire so I was a little more aware of my rights and folks in the community there were on our side and good to help us get out. We should really have taken them to court but, in the end, I just wanted it to be over. It does bother me that cause we didn’t do anything they will most likely keep treating their hired men (and cattle) like that.

So when people don’t pay you, you get behind and we have been trying hard to catch up financially, plus it affects your credit rating. I finaly got to buy groceries the last cheque. I had to spend a lot because we were eating on whatever I had squirelled away and that had pretty much run out. My grandson told me I was poor because I had no food in my frig (or anywhere else in the house). He likes to eat, cute kid, nice little boys both of them.

I am enjoying living so close to our one daughter and being a grandma, and mom to her, instead being of just a cow mom. I get to help out and she appreciates it and it’s been so good for me to have her to talk to. They have helped us out a bunch too.

So that’s the story on this old cowgirl, just hanging in there, till things turn around. Hope you all are doing well.

Dark Corners

Last night I sat in a dark corner crying.

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I made a mistake. I didn’t pick the Hovel. If I had picked some place less nice to live maybe I could have had Gus and Pshaw there too.

I just keep thinking they spent the night wondering what they did wrong when they tried so hard to be good, really good dogs. Why would their people abandon them? Are they waiting for us to come back?

My dad had a collie dog once that died waiting for him to come back. How my dad must have cried when he had to leave that dog behind. You know, I never thought of it before but I bet that dog was waiting for him when he got to the Gate. I just bet. And I bet my dad was happy, is happy with that old dog by his side now.

We left both dogs with someone really kind and lovely. I just pray Gus can love her as much as he did me and vice versa, that work and friendship with her will help him move on so he doesn’t even miss me. I’m sure it helps that Pshaw is there too.

If you can find it in your heart I’d appreciate a little kneemail on their behalf. Maybe mine too, although I don’t feel like I deserve it.