Friends

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Only friend Pic has ever had, that I know of.

Blue

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He’s always so cheerful; doesn’t suit his name much.

A Soft Bed

A soft bed for an old dog.

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Does my heart good to see him sleep so sweetly.

Delusions

I quite often notice people, mostly my self having delusions of grandeur, at least that’s what I call it. Been suffering from it again lately.

It covers up the hurt I am still trying to deal with. Just can’t seem to put 60 years of wanting to be a cowgirl behind me and the feeling I’ve been ripped out of my mother”s arms.

She”s still nearby, my mother prairie and all of nature. I just can’t seem to justify what once were the long days in her company. I hang out for an hour or so but it’s just selfish time, I’m not really accomplishing anything, well no work anyway.

The latest delusion is that I could get a job as graphic designer I saw advertised. I just realized that I have been so distracted by all this rotten self pity that my portfolio isn’t up to snuff and there is so much technical stuff I have toyed with but not mastered.

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Maybe if I had a laptop I could work on that out on the prairie. Delusions, sometimes there is comfort on them.

My Happy Place

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Love the prairie under wide blue skies.

Poor Trouper

Some really bad people got their hands on him and we couldn’t get him back for the six weeks it took to do everything we could possibly think of to come up with $2000 (which literally included bread and water).

I finally got him and Wilbur away from them only to find out he’s so sore he can hardly move. I can see they messed with his feet and have screwed up the angles.

So unfair to such a good horse. When I talk to Heavenly Father all I can ask is that people get exactly what they deserve and leave it in His hands. But it’s hard when I think a baseball bat should have more to do with it.

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A Day in Heaven

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So here it is. Seems like I got asked “how bad do you want it?” I can whine all I want about missing my life but do I really want it and what am I willing to give up to get it.

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How important is running water, electricity, refrigeration, computers, . . . ?

I just laugh as I ask myself. The computer geek part of me screams and asks how I would ever charge my phone. The cowgirl in me says bah humbug who needs luxuries like those. The woman in me recognizes the hard work of ages not so long past, The frail human part of me says what about weather, rattlesnakes, coyotes, or maybe worse.

Beyond the spartan living conditions there is the toll all those hours in a saddle take on an old body, the reality of the real danger of doing what we do for cattle, the fear that needs to be swallowed, the distance from my own species.

There are still some remote places on the Alberta prairie. All those things considered, to me it felt like I”d spent the day in Heaven. We’ll have to wait and see if they offer us the job. And if my cowboy will take it.

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Lost

I mean me. At least I feel lost, not sure which way to go to find me.

I go to see Pic, hang out. I sit on his back. He eats what’s green in the yard where he lives. The dogs wait in the car cause they aren’t allowed. Its good we can be together, sort of.

I still miss cows and cow work. Sure is a different life. Can’t quite find me in it.

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Soon

Yay! I haven’t missed the bright pink cactus flowers. This one is so close to blooming.

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Just couldn’t help but take a picture of these two. Pojke and the cat like each other, obviously.

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A Cowboy Stirs

I think I see him returning. At least his iPad seems pretty occupied with YouTube videos of cowboy stuff.

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I’m praying hard. Sure wouldn’t mind a good word or two added on our behalf if you have the time.